RFT 429: The Road To Acceptance

From AeroCrew News:

Over the past few months, the airline industry has gone from pilot and mechanic shortages to extreme overstaffing. This turnaround was sharp and dramatic. Pilots, flight attendants and A&Ps are facing a harsh, undeserved reality. Their colleagues, or even themselves, may be furloughed.

A furlough can be an emotional rollercoaster. When being furloughed, it might feel as if your world were collapsing. Besides the loss of stability, structure, lifestyle, and colleagues, the sense of social utility and identity can be strongly affected. When dealing with grief, feelings of anger, sadness and frustration are common. Everyone experiences loss in their own way.

Grief is a term often linked to the loss of a loved one, but it is equally applicable to losing a job. The different stages of grief in the Kubler-Ross grief cycle can also be experienced when it comes to important life changes, such as a furlough. Understanding and applying the stages of grief on oneself, colleague, or spouse can help process the emotions that come with a furlough.

The following are the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief: 

Stage 1: Denial

During the first phase, denial, it is difficult for one to face the dismissal. Denial can be the conscious or unconscious refusal to face reality. It is a natural form of self-protection. It helps determine at what rate the grief is allowed. This phase usually manifests itself through avoidance, confusion, shock, and fear. 

Stage 2: Anger

When the truth is faced, anger occurs. In this phase, these angry feelings may be projected onto the boss or company who have failed them. It is also possible that the blame is passed onto colleagues. Anger helps in the grieving process since the feelings of guilt and grief are suppressed by focusing on the anger that comes with blame. Feelings of anxiety, frustration, irritation, and thoughts of revenge can occur during this phase.

Stage 3: Bargaining 

At this stage, attempts are made to negotiate. One can try to deal with the loss of work by setting goals or making promises. For example, bargaining can be done by applying for myriad jobs or setting extremely high personal goals. During this phase, it might be difficult to find meaning, and it is particularly important to reach out to others for support.

Stage 4: Depression

When reality sets in, some may go into depression or show symptoms of stress. When one begins to accept reality, feelings of sadness, regret, fear, and insecurity emerge. Losses from the past resurface and one may need to express their sadness repeatedly. Underneath the sadness, feelings of anger remain. Suppressed anger is often a crucial cause of depression. Other feelings that might occur during this phase are helplessness, overwhelmedness and hostility. 

Stage 5: Acceptance

Having had enough time to process the loss and go through the mentioned stages, it is possible to start accepting reality. It is time to let go. Letting go is not the same as forgetting. It is giving the loss a place in life and moving on. Only after acceptance can come a new perspective, actively moving forward, exploring options, and making new plans.

Strategies for dealing with a furlough

1. Share your Story

Telling the story in detail is important to help process what happened and provides relief. Sharing the story is a crucial step in becoming aware of what happened and to move on in the grieving process. 

• Tell the story of what happened to your partner and family. Sharing your story helps to deal realistically with the loss. Ask for support to help bring order to the overwhelming situation;
• Tell the story to someone else. Talk to someone who is likely to ask questions, listen and help you reflect on your story for new insights. 
• Tell yourself by writing in a journal or an email to yourself. 

2. List Concerns

Telling the story is one thing, but what is the most stressful in this situation? Make a list of ten things that cause you stress. Then rate these factors from 1 – 10 to indicate what you experience as most stressful. Think about how this stress factor can be reduced and add that in the third column. If needed, ask someone to help you.

3. Dealing with Emotions 

In a loss situation, feelings of sadness, anger or fear are normal reactions. These reactions can be overwhelming and it is important to acknowledge and recognize these emotions. Suppressing feelings can aggravate them and lead to higher anxiety, depression and anger issues, often without knowing why. It is crucial to becoming aware of existing emotions. Without naming them, there is no way of knowing what causes them and why, nor how to cope. 

Awareness

• Write down/ think about what makes it difficult to deal with this situation. 
• Write down/ think about what emotion you are feeling at this moment.
• Give it a number. How much you are bothered by this emotion; what number would you be (1 lowest – 10 highest)? 
• Think about where in the body that emotion is felt.
• Describe your behavior in a particular situation when feeling the emotion.
• Do you want to feel it, or do you prefer to ignore it? 
• Is the emotion so strong that it keeps you worried? 
• Does this feeling occur in other situations? When? 
• What productive behaviors could help you feel better? 
• What do you do with the emotion afterward?

Listen to RFT 391.

Then listen to RFT 399.

The Good News:

As many as 1000 airliners will be returned to lessors. JOBS for ferry pilots! AerCap is the largest lessor of airlines. https://www.aercap.com/careers/career-opportunities/